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Writer's pictureSt John Tembisa

When Church Hurts: Navigating Disappointment and Betrayal From Those We Trust

In Mark 9:14, we are introduced to a nameless individual who is about to have a life-changing encounter with Jesus. One of the profound aspects of these anonymous characters in the Bible is that they represent each one of us. This person's story could easily be your own. He is a father who is facing a problem, and in many ways, he's just like you and me – we all have our share of problems.



Problems: An Inevitable Part of Life


No one is immune to life's challenges. Problems are an inevitable part of our journey, regardless of how deeply we are rooted in our faith. It doesn't matter how big your Bible is, how long you pray, or how many verses you know by heart; problems are a fact of life. If you're old enough, you've likely realized that as soon as one issue is resolved, another one crops up. It's a never-ending cycle. Whether it's financial troubles, health issues, relationships, or even the unpredictability of raising children, problems are always present in our lives.


Inherited Problems


This father brought his son, who had a lifelong problem, to Jesus. If you're old enough, you understand the concept of inherited problems – those issues that others close to you face, which also affect your life. Having an unemployed child can quickly make other people's problems your own. The same goes for having a sick child, which can take a toll on your well-being. If you live long enough, you will inevitably experience the pain of losing someone you love. The most challenging aspect of these situations is that some problems are chronic, much like high blood pressure. Some problems are not of your making; you inherit them, and some we are born with. Some of us know all too well what it's like to grapple with a problem from childhood, and some problems simply don't vanish after one prayer session. They become a part of us, and we must learn to live with them.


The Quest for Jesus


Like all of us who have problems, this man concluded that he needed Jesus. He believed that by being in the presence of God, his problems would be resolved. This is why many of us go to church on Sundays – we hope that by coming to a place where God is worshipped, our issues will be resolved.


Failed Church Folks


However, when we arrive at the place we believe represents Jesus, we are sometimes met with disappointment. This man arrived and found some of Jesus' disciples, but things didn't go as expected. What we learn from this is that disciples, at times, fall short of our expectations. This gathering of people who claim to follow Jesus can sometimes let us down. We walk into the church, believing that it will be a sanctuary of change, but instead, we leave more wounded than before. A disciple who fails can cause more harm than not having a disciple at all


A Lesson on Discipleship from Jesus


According to Jesus, being a disciple is not about the number of verses you know, the length of your prayers, or your impressive gifts. According to Jesus, the true measure of discipleship is how you treat people. If you can't treat people with love and kindness, you are like a noisy cymbal to God. The heart of the matter is that how you treat people is more important to God than how spiritually gifted you believe you are.

I digress, let's get back to the topic at hand

He Stays: Perseverance in the Face of Disappointment


Despite encountering failed disciples and their arguments with scribes, this man chose to stay. Many of us, on the other hand, tend to leave as soon as we experience disappointment and seek refuge in other churches, only to find more failed disciples. The key question we should ask is, why did he stay? The scribes he encountered in the absence of Jesus were people who immersed themselves in the scriptures. While the disciples had failed him, the word of God was being taught. So he stayed to listen because ultimately, he didn't come to see the disciples; he came to find Jesus.


Not All Are Bad: Finding the Good Disciples


When you encounter failed disciples, remember that they are not the entirety of the church. Jesus left with Peter, James, and John, his inner circle. The ones who failed were the Judas and Thomas of the group. So when you encounter a Judas in the church, know that Jesus has a Peter who will stand by your side. You might be sitting next to a James or have a John behind you, full of love and compassion. When a disciple fails you, don't quit; God has good ones as well.


He Gets Jesus: Finding Comfort In His Love


In our journey through faith, it's important to remember that while we may encounter disappointment and hurt within the church, our ultimate pursuit is a deeper connection with Jesus. The beautiful truth is that Jesus is ever-present, unwavering in His love and grace.


When we seek Jesus with all our hearts, we find solace and strength in His presence. He understands our pain, our struggles, and our frustrations. He doesn't ask us to put our trust in flawed individuals; rather, He invites us to place our trust in Him.


So, if you've ever been hurt in the church, remember that the church is made up of imperfect people, but Jesus is perfect in His love for you. He is the healer of our wounds and the source of our comfort. He invites us to come to Him, to find rest for our souls, and to experience His unconditional love.


No matter what challenges you face within the church, always hold on to the promise that Jesus is there, ready to offer His grace and peace. Let His love be the anchor that keeps you steady, even when the waves of disappointment and hurt may try to pull you away.


As you navigate the ups and downs of your faith journey, may you find the strength to forgive those who may have hurt you and the courage to extend the same love and grace that Jesus extends to all of us. Remember, the church may falter at times, but the love of Jesus remains steadfast. In Him, you will find the comfort and peace your soul longs for.

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